You Work In Oil & Gas IF:
(for those Dilbert Types)
You sat at the same desk for 3 years and worked for three different companies.
Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
Your resume is on a memory stick in your pocket.
Your company logo on your badge is applied with stick-um.
You have to call home to check the weather.
When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.
You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
You learn about your layoff on CNN.
Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.
Your supervisor hasnít the ability to do your job assignment.
You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries annual budgets combined.
Your 2 yr old kid knows how to get to your company and to your cube, and it is referred to as daddyís/mommyís room.
You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive.
Itís dark when you drive to and from work.
Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.
You see a good-looking person and know it is a visitor.
A tie is hanging in your cube.
Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.
Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home.
Being sick is defined as canít walk or youíre in the hospital.
Art involves a white board.
Youíre already late on the assignment you just got.
When 100% of your time means 20 hours.
You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say "Oh wow, thanks!"
All real work gets started after 5pm or on weekends.
Everyone fights fires (i.e. problems).
Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube.
Plants in your cube are healthier than your plants at home.
Your bossís favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes", "in your spare time", "when youíre freed up", and "I have an opportunity for you."
10% of the people you work with - no one (boss included) knows what they do.
Vacation is something you rollover to next year or a check you get every January.
Change is the norm.
Nepotism is encouraged.
The only reason you recognize your kids is because their pictures are hanging in your cube.
Moving targets are employees, goals, and budgets.
You read this entire list and understood it.